Promiscuity Is Its Own Punishment
by Shinigami Mothman
Summary: L and Mikami meet in a department store and become acquainted. However, the meeting is soon regretted once the prosecutor learns that it always seems too good to be true. Especially if you're a little jaded. Yaoi, anal, oneshot, crack.


Note: Written as a personal challenge for a Slut!Mikami running gag on livejournal (so give me some leeway on characterization here, since I didn't like how this turned out, and this _is _considered crack), and the fact that the only things I could write cohesively are smut and corpses. Or the combination thereof.

* * *

Teru Mikami had no plans on his day off, other than to go grocery shopping and purchase a new pair of trousers.

Now, it was customary for the man to buy food at the end of every hectic week. However, he was in dire need of new trousers. Since having nine, not ten pairs was unacceptable. It offset the timing of his clothes-washing days, and the amount of laundering he became accustomed to, and subsequently, the amount of time it took to wash the aforementioned clothing. His schedule would not permit such inconsistencies, so he felt it would save him many situations of confusion and discomfort if he bought another pair on this day. And the fact that it was done on a day where he left his house to run errands anyway did not deter his mental order.

However, one must question the reason why he suddenly needed a new pair of pants, and the ones in question for replacement were unable to fulfill their duty of clothing the bottom half of his body.

But that answer could not be found in the realm of organization and perpetual schedule.

A realm that Mikami delved in once every spontaneous occasion. A glitch--a random occurrence like the shake of an earthquake, which may have been the only normality a person like him ever experiences.

But at the present moment, he was walking into a local (but high-end) department store to go shopping in. Striding--almost looking prudish, but not quite--with his eyes toward the men's section.

He didn't think twice about musing through the garments in this particular store, despite everything being name brand, and therefore expensive. He was paid quite a large sum of money in his most recent court case. That of which involved being the prosecuting attorney for a Mr. Reiji Namikawa and Mr. Kyosuke Higuchi of Yotsuba, for a (successful) lawsuit against a man accused of loitering funds from the Sales and Technological development departments of the company. Needless to say, the young, and newly certified lawyer made a great break for himself in one of the first, and one of the most important litigations in his career. The brilliant success of which allowed him some _privileges_, normally not given to Yotsuba's attorneys.

Being that both men were very impressed with Teru's prodigal ingenuity involving his occupation, and his refined, but youthful sense of professionalism, they couldn't help but be intrigued by him.

Namikawa had made the first move, inviting Mikami to a moonlit dinner at one of the most exclusive restaurants in Tokyo two days after the case (unsurprisingly, owned by Namikawa himself). Teru, although preferred to keep a professional relationship with his clients, was also one that never took easily to disappointing people. And since Namikawa technically wasn't his client anymore, there seemed to be no harm in it.

So, for two splendid hours of delicious food, a little too much decadent wine, and luxurious atmosphere, Teru didn't seem to find any harm in staying with Reiji a little longer.

Teru Mikami was never a man to really drink, so it goes without saying that his sense of order and regulation meeting with the volatile ethanol in the murky red beverage disintegrated into giddiness and lust. It would appear that a little alcohol goes a long way with him, but that wasn't the real cause of his sexual recklessness.

It was just him.

Years of being disregarded socially by his peers throughout Mikami's most influential years of puberty left him sexually frustrated of repressing his teenage desires to the point where his lust became almost a secret deviancy, once he peaked at the dawn of his twenties.

Be it an act of rebellion toward isolation and constant orderliness, a Freudian effect upon his influential Id, or just a simple engagement of physical release, but Teru Mikami gave himself away very easily on that very night.

It wasn't long after the dinner that Mikami and Namikawa found themselves driven to the Yotsuba employee's condominium, in the back of a limozine, lips smashing against each other and hands gliding over the other's elegant, pliant body. Aching to feel the naked flesh of the other man upon himself.

Somehow, there was still a classiness between them both, allowing them to stay refined and sophisticated as they both removed their clothing next to Reiji's bed. And then commencing in a contrasting act of hungry fornication soon after.

Mikami still remembered the heated blush on Reiji's panting face as he lay beneath him, accepting. Pleading and moaning with a submissiveness akin to most of the prosecutor's lovers.

It was a night well spent, and a morning waking up that was quite a change in the man's set of routine, but completely worth it.

So much worth it, that Mikami didn't decline Higuchi's request to take the prosecutor to an uptown cocktail party, and repeating the same thing the night after his affair with Namikawa. The slight changes being the initial situation, the partner, and Mikami's role in the act of coitus.

Though in the act of his engagement with Kyosuke in this new lover's home, the former client took the liberty of tearing Mikami's trousers in a frantic act of lust, before giving him the _Higuchi treatment_ on top of the kitchen table. Then again in Higuchi's bed before they went to sleep.

Which was why Mikami was at this very department store the day after. Deciding between black with white pinstripe, black with grey pinstripe, or plain black.

He proceeded in picking up all three trousers to try on, and went ahead to go look for some casual wear.

L found himself browsing for a new pair of jeans for his speech in To-Oh university in a few days. He normally wouldn't have bothered purchasing anything new, he was well aware that all of his clothing was perfectly acceptable for the occasion. But Watari felt it would be proper (and more convincing), if the detective decided to dress appropriately for once.

There weren't any jeans he found suitable to his usual tastes. They all seemed too fancy. One pair was too dark washed, another too tight, another too short, and another one had some weird designs. No, not acceptable indeed. Perhaps he should just call Watari to take him to the bakery instead of shopping for clothes.

The detective glanced up and saw a tall, long-haired man shifting through all of the folded clothing on a nearby display with considerable ease. Then the man held up a pair of jeans that looked perfect for the ceremony. Intrigued, L walked tentatively over to the man and said jeans.

Teru glanced over at a bizarre, skittish-looking man standing right next to him. Looking at him with large waif-like eyes and a thumb to his full lips. Gaze completely fixated on him.

He looked around, strangely unsure why this man was staring at him so much. Then he lifted a brow, "Do you need something?"

The man averted his eyes, and darted them around furtively, somewhat in thought or perhaps bashfulness. Then he looked back up at Teru.

"I see you enjoy pants." Biting his thumb and gazing at him with a blank, almost stalker stare.

Mikami felt slightly uncomfortable near this man, but he didn't have the heart to walk away or tell him off. In fact, he empathized where this man was coming from. Teru wasn't alien to the debilitating nature of shyness, and he knew how much he hated it when people were rude to him because of that.

He smiled at L, "Ha ha, you can say that. I'm just here to pick some up, actually." Inadvertently, Teru fluttered his long eyelashes at the detective and smiled wider.

L was unused to anyone being so polite after first meeting him. Most people just walked away or called him a pervert. But he was no such thing, but merely had socialization barriers caused from the multitude of days of physical isolation. He was delighted, and slightly surprised to see that someone acknowledged he was a person, and deserved to be treated as such.

He cocked his head and wondered at the reason why this man was being so nice. Maybe… Maybe he liked him. The detective considered this. Yes, that was a pleasant thought. Nothing like that happened very often.

The man smiled back at Teru, "Astonishing. So am I."

Mikami nodded and starting having second thoughts about talking to this weird man, but it would have been cruel to just leave. So after a few awkward seconds of silence from the man's statement, Teru broke off from his gaze and proceeded to chat a little longer.

"That's… nice. Erm, where are you from? You don't look very Japanese if you don't mind me saying so." He put his attention toward the clothing he picked out, trying to avoid looking at the man any further.

L finally looked away and started skimming through the folded jeans in front of them. "Oh, here and there."

The detective didn't reply with much, still being wary despite Mikami's amiability. But his eyes would still go back to him, unrelenting and making sure he wouldn't walk away. Then cautiously studying him pick through clothes. Hands meticulously moving over garments, and soft black hair hanging majestically around his face. Yes… L thought this man was very interesting indeed.

There was silence for a few moments between them during this time, and the prosecutor assumed their strange interaction was over. He was about to turn to leave until the man tapped his shoulder.

Teru's head turned slowly, "Yes?" Then nervously pushed his glasses up on the bridge of his nose.

Wide and perhaps feigned innocent eyes threatened to engulf him, as L penetrated him with stare. He was looking up at him--his shoulders drawn in and his back hunched like he was a frightened animal. Only, his features appeared to have an almost _predatory_ curiosity.

"I couldn't help but notice your familiarity. I have seen you before--not in physicality but perhaps in the newspaper?" A finger slowly rose to his mouth in contemplation.

Mikami noticed he was leaning backwards and balancing awkwardly on his heels, while L loomed uncomfortably towards him. He gulped and took a step back. Then regained his usual astute countenance.

"Perhaps you have. I am a prosecuting attorney." At this he couldn't contain a little of his complacency, since gaining that occupation was one of the few things he was unconditionally proud of about himself. Though he preferred not to elaborate on that when speaking to people, since he felt it was important to be humble and righteous. Not pompous and boastful. He especially felt this way ever since… Kira.

L studied the man with his head angled oddly. "Yes, the Yotsuba trial. The outcome to that was very impressive _Mr. Mikami_. Very good work for someone so young and striking."

"Well.." Mikami looked away, attempting to hide a small blush. Not letting the fact that this man remembered his name from the other day's newspaper to disturb him in the slightest.

"Thank you, that's… very kind of you to say." He was smiling, and he tried to make his hair curtain his face.

The other man came a little closer to face him. "Oh no, it's just mere fact." Now that his own face was also skewed in a minute smile, he lifted a finger to make a comment. "To be precise, I have a very high regard for prosecuting attorneys, since I admire such individuals who make a genuine effort in serving justice through any way of the law. Such is an existence worthy of great respect, since I also believe that there should be order and righteousness maintained in society."

The look on the prosecutor's face the moment after L said the word 'society' made him take a step back. Now _Mikami_ was the one staring at him.

"What?" Teru was stunned.

The detective wasn't sure if he said something good or bad. Teru's face was blank with shock, that was for sure, but _why_? L's eyes darted around furtively, unsure if it was possibly something else that caused the man to change his demeanor.

"Did I say something that disconcerted--

Mikami clutched his shoulder and made him freeze, once his spectacled eyes bore into him with an obsessive sort of vehemence.

"I believe the exact same thing." His mouth curled into a cracked grin, devoid of the solemnity L saw just moments before.

"Oh, I thought I said something--

"What is your name?" Mikami was staring through him.

L paused, unwilling to explain who he really was, but deliberated the amount of risk this actually put him in. Which was very minimal. Also, this Mikami person appeared to like him, and if he was a good attorney, maybe it wasn't too early to look for one for when he catches Kira. But L trusted no one easily.

"Well, that is complicated, so for right now, you may call me Hideki Ryuga. At least until I know you any further."

Teru pulled his hand away, "Know me _further_?" Apparently picking up something L wasn't really insinuating at all.

L bit his thumb, "Yes, I apologize for not being able to elaborate more, but what I can say is that I am a detective, currently working on an important investigation right now. So, my identity cannot be revealed to anyone of the general public. I hope you do not find that insulting."

"No, not at all." Mikami was giving him that look again. Dark and captivating--awe-inspiring. And not really caring to question this man if he was actually being serious.

His fingers brushed a lock of hair out of L's eyes, and the detective suddenly got a cold feeling. Then Mikami's eyes narrowed with grinning irreverence once he looked at the detective up and down. Taking in the frail physique and blanch skin.

"You know", he said, lifting a brow, "I think detectives are very noble. You seem to be the type that puts his life in danger just to apprehend a criminal." Mikami continued giving him suggestive looks.

L shrugged, "If the situation demands it." Hmm, he didn't anticipate this.

The prosecutor glanced away in thought, considering something. Then his hypnotic eyes fell back on L, and… and there was that _grin_ again.

"How would you like to join me in the dressing room?"

"What are you implying?"

"I'm sure you can extrapolate my inquisition." He nodded his head and chuckled.

"Well… I guess I may. But I only found one pair of jeans to my liking." Though L still wasn't sure what the prosecutor meant.

Mikami chuckled, "It won't matter. But…" He glanced at the entrance at the store for a second, then back at L. "I don't normally do this. However, I think you might be worth making an exception with."

The detective stared back at him, still unaware of what he was getting at. But he nodded. "Sure."

Teru leaned towards him, "I'll get what we need from my car. It will just take a moment. Wait for me in one of the dressing rooms. Keep the door unlocked, and make sure I can find you easily." Then before he turned to leave, his fingers brushed L's lips and he paused to take in the sight of the flushed detective. And in a flash of dark movement, he rushed quickly away so he could get to his car.

L stood there, feeling vaguely defiled, but more intrigued than anything. Should he go to the dressing room? Should he stay there and finish shopping? Or should he go call Watari and run far away?

His hand fished through his pocket and he pulled out a strawberry lollipop. The wrapper dropped to the floor and he popped the candy in his mouth. L didn't stand much longer deliberating what may await him--instead, he grabbed a pair of jeans and headed for the dressing room. Curiously taking an estimate on the chance percentile that he'd leave the store with a different outlook on his surroundings entirely. With all the risks he was already taking, would it _really_ be more of a threat to his survival if he took another?

--

There was a door in the hallway of doors at the very end which had a different number. It was the only door in which the number 1 hung off the plastic hook to initial the amount of garments being tried on. It was the sight of this door, not quite the sights of the actions which occurred behind it, that kept him awake some nights skewed in indeterminate amounts of time, that left him forever ambivalent about everything that day.

He walked in with no warning, with a commanding air and a demeanor committed to practicality. With no sense in wasting time. That was evident of him in and out of his occupation. Teru Mikami was a man infinitely meticulous, no matter what his situation.

The door hit the wall of the dressing room, and L jumped. His back was turned from Mikami and he faced the mirror. The prosecutor shut the door and stood very close behind him, staring over L's shoulder into the mirror that reflected them both. Then--sensing the detective's anxious tension--Teru very, slowly, with a minute cautiousness, wrapped an arm around the other man's waist. Then caressed his pale face with his other hand. Stroking the flawless, sweat dewed skin with gentle tenderness, then began kissing along the detective's neck. L closed his eyes and his body was as tense as a corpse 18 hours post mortem. And his palms were just as icy. Though he could hear nothing but the blood rushing in his ears.

Mikami could feel L's discomfort, and he pulled back. The other man stared at him--obviously petrified. Teru sighed pulled out his wallet.

"I guess you're not the type to do this sort of thing, hm?"

L glanced away, unsure, "No… Not quite. Not at all."

Mikami gave him a wavering look, but smirked. "Alright, put this on." He placed a square shaped item in L's palm. The detective held it up to see with his thumb and forefinger.

He peered at Teru quizzically from behind the prelubricated, mint-flavored condom.

"We're going to have sex?"

The prosecutor was for once, a little dumbstruck at his question. He paused for a second, trying to take in that L actually said that.

Teru nodded, "Yes… But this is so you can become more comfortable first."

L glanced down at himself, hopeless.

Mikami sighed and got down on his knees. He didn't bother listening to L protest, and pulled the detective's hands away from blocking him to the zipper of his jeans.

Once the prosecutor got his pants down, L's thoughts darted around his head in nervousness, and his mind came up with nothing cohesive to say. He just gulped and tried to make the situation less awkward.

"Why is that… mint?" He jumped once Teru's hand wrapped around _something_ normally not handled frequently.

The other man looked up at him, "What are you saying?"

L put a finger to his lip, "Well, the flavor seems sort of… _boring_ if you ask me."

Mikami sneered, "I don't like sweet flavors, and if I'm going to be performing fellatio anyway, I might as well make sure my breath doesn't smell like I have." He glanced at L's piece. "You know, it makes it difficult if you're flacc--Wait, never mind."

The detective stared up at the ceiling in thought, "Who would have thought mint? It's intriguing to be fornicating with someone with tastes so contr--" His eyes shot wide open and he stopped talking once he felt something too wonderful for words.

There was a hot, slick mouth moving the condom up his shaft and bobbing on it expertly. L's face was numb with a blank expression, and in one hard tug from Mikami's mouth, his body quivered and relaxed. His knees bent and he leaned against the wall, then his head tilted back--his mind in Limbo. His countenance with the vacancy of a cadaver. L stared at the fluorescent lights unblinkingly, calculating the current, from an estimated voltage and resistance.

Teru was glad L finally shut up, so then he could concentrate on the job at hand with no interruption. He took his mouth off for a second so he could pull L's underwear down completely. Hurriedly, his lips wrapped around the long, hardened cock again and his hands squeezed and pinched at the bare flesh on the back of L's legs and his ass. Then he held his breath and drew it slowly into his throat. The detective sucked in a choked breath above him, and began stroking his soft black hair. Almost lovingly.

The wet lubrication from the latex and the pressure of Mikami's warm mouth left L indefinitely senseless. His whole organ ached with the unfamiliar and excruciating pleasure, and it rippled in vehemence with the prosecutor's motions. The feeling stretched deep into his belly, gripping him mercilessly and making him feel hollow. But in the most delectable way possible, even if his face grew cold as the blood drained from it.

His hands caressed Mikami's toned shoulders, trying to seek some source of stability. L's knees trembled with the building bliss in his system, but the other man pulled away.

L gasped; his cheeks instantly flushed and he whimpered from the lack of contact. The dark circles under his eyes seemed even more exaggerated now.

Teru wiped his mouth and looked up at him. "Are you alright now?"

The detective nodded slowly, despite the fact that he was still trembling.

Mikami pointed at L, then twirled his finger in the implication for him to turn around. The other man obeyed and did so--placing his hands on either side of the mirror. He gulped again, and glanced at his jeans and boxers hanging off his ankles.

Even though he was looking at their reflection, his eyes could not focus. Nor did he anticipate the other man's slick finger suddenly poking up somewhere _not_ for entering.

He was about to pull away until Mikami clutched his throat with his free hand and made him freeze. Then it slid down and fondled the skin underneath his shirt. Fingers tickling surprisingly erect and sensitive nipples. As L's body relaxed again, the prosecutor's finger began to move and touched something that made him moan softly in automated response.

"Shhhht." Mikami turned his head to listen if anyone overheard. After a moment, he continued, rubbing the tender prostate again, then sliding another finger in.

L's head fell and he bit his lip, trying to concentrate on his breathing patterns. Teru's fingers slid out of him and he breathed out a shaky sigh. Until something that was thick and hard, covered in lubricated latex, tried to press into him. The detective's shoulder's hunched and he inhaled rapidly, as he felt the other man's penis move against him, unsuccessfully trying to make entrance.

Mikami grunted and brought his hands to the cleft of L's smooth behind and tried pulling him apart. Though the tip of his cock wouldn't go into the tight entrance.

His hands grabbed L's hips and pulled him against himself. The detective almost started to panic again, and he tried to wriggle free from the uncomfortable feeling that was _almost_ painful, but it was mostly just a feeling unpredictably strange. Though Mikami didn't let go, and he slid in with a jolt, until their bodies made contact.

L was panting and his face was very, very cold. His legs trembled and he thought he was going to fall. He looked into the mirror and saw that Teru appeared to be very tranquil. Almost meditative, with his eyes shut and his features with that calm practicality.

The detective's breath hitched, "Is it… _in_?"

Mikami's brow creased, "Are you insulting me?"

"Oh-oh no! I wasn't… unh… trying to." The prosecutor suddenly started moving, taking no heed to whether or not L finished his sentence.

Teru's finger gripped L's hips as he moved. At first slowly, with caution, then quicker. Staying at a fast, but efficient pace that did not accelerate, but became deeper and harder with each thrust.

L remained silent, save for one brief moment when Mikami became precise with his movements and he whimpered quietly. The prosecutor continued driving on that exact spot, forcing L to shiver and bend his spine wantonly so that it fit perfectly along the front of the other man's torso, so as to gain full resolution from the impact.

Through heavy lids, the detective stared at himself getting fucked and the other man looking back at him through the mirror. One of the prosecutor's hands held his face like he was a rag doll, and the other hand wrapped around his throbbing shaft. As his body was sodomized and pleasured, he closed his eyes and relished in the methodics of ecstasy…

--

The both of them were in such a chipper mood after their interaction in the dressing room, but L especially, he took the liberty of buying Mikami some trousers (though none for himself), and took him out to a nice coffee shop he thought they'd both enjoy.

They spent a long while talking; discussing everything that came to mind. And both were very surprised at how well they got along. Mikami was very amazed with this man. He seemed intelligent (even if he was a little bizarre), devoted to order, and appeared to have similar ideals to him. In fact, he never recalled ever meeting another person in which he had this much in common. That is, until they got on the subject of Kira. And in that discussion, L admitted what his investigation involved, then skirted quickly to another topic once he saw the prosecutor go silent.

Mikami stared at nothing for the longest time, appearing to be listening to L talk, but he wasn't really. He was too aghast at what L had told him, and apparently the detective took no notice, or perhaps may not have cared.

"…Then once she was found, her corpse was lying prone on the floor--mutilated and eyes torn out from black, congealed sockets. With the optic nerves still hanging out of them."

"That sounds very pleasant, but I have to be… _going._ I believe I'm late for something."

L looked up at him from his cup of coffee, "Oh, so soon?"

Teru nodded, "Yes, I apologize, but… I just remembered something important." He stood up and thanked the other man, then bowed.

He turned away quickly, but the detective caught his hand.

"You will call me, correct?" His large black eyes looked almost mournful once Teru glanced at him. No…

Hopeful.

"Yes", was all that Mikami replied, and he pulled away. Striding quickly to his car with his shopping bag in hand. Once he turned the corner, he threw the slip of paper with a cell phone number and the name Ryuzaki on it into a sidewalk trash can.

Maybe he should refrain from casual sex for awhile.

* * *

End Note: Yes. Mint flavor DOES exist.


End file.
